Aloneness is part of my journey through life. Ultimately I must die alone. No one else can journey with me across the abyss between life and death. People may be with me in my final moments but I take the step alone.
We can all conceptualize the fact we die alone, meaning, no one dies with us. We all fear living the last part of our life alone. The majority of people live the majority of their life in the company of others. There are many who live a large part of the latter part of their life alone, but with the company of friends and family intermittently during the final stages of living. There are those who live a large part of the latter parts of their life completely alone, isolated by choice or circumstance. This is the case I fear most for myself.
Our souls long for the company of others. Not just for psychological validation, but for the intimacy of another person. For company. For friendship. For love. We feel uncomfortable alone. We feel “less than”. But life has a way of burdening us with things we don’t want. Aloneness is one of these things. If we feel chronically alone, believing that between now and our final breath we will be ultimately alone, especially lacking the deep intimacy we desire, it bears a huge weight on our soul and our sense of joy. It causes a profound sadness, even depression.
We may temporarily have long periods of aloneness and must deal with them. It is during these times we often turn to God and spirituality to give us comfort. Solitude is often a gift. A way to let our minds contemplate things above this world, or things of this world. It is good to have this time, but since we were made to be with someone else, we naturally are displaced when alone. It takes great fortitude to overcome the mental anguish we face.
Maybe we do not feel completely alive when alone, and fear the deathlike atmosphere of our aloneness. The camaraderie of others gives our mind a connection thus confirming our existence. The solitude of mind causes doubt. But usually it is not the validity that we exist that we doubt. It is the validity of the value of our existence. Our discomfort with aloneness is not being alone. It is why we are alone. That we are unworthy of friendship. Of a companion. It is this doubt of value that makes us feel less than.
Whatever the reason we do not like aloneness. It is something we must either accept or change. Both take courage and wisdom. In either case, we have to let go of our doubt and fear. Put our trust in God. And carry on with our life as best we can.